If you are thinking about asking your general pediatrician about autism, hold up because today I’m going to share with you the worst questions to ask them and what to ask instead if you want answers that actually help your child.
Speech
Why isn’t my child speaking?
That’s a big question. But here’s the thing. Speech delay is a clue, not a diagnosis. And many times, a general pediatrician is not even going to know the answer. So they might just tell you, “Well, they’ll grow out of it. And every child develops differently.” And usually when parents hear that, their intuition tells them, ‘I know something is wrong.’ Don’t let this go. Pursue this.
What to ask instead
You could ask, What specialist can help evaluate my child’s communication and underlying neurology? That will definitely get you a referral to someone who hopefully has a bit of a chance of answering that question correctly.
Eye contact
Why won’t my child make eye contact? It’s definitely a very important question. And when you ask that, there might be some awkward silence just like that. Because eye contact is nuanced, right? So it can be cultural, it can be developmental, or sometimes personality. So if your pediatrician gives you a one-size-fits-all answer, again, that’s a red flag.
What to ask instead
So a better question would be, can you refer us to someone who’s trained in social communication development? Now, that might get you someone who’s a bit more like speech therapy, but it’s going to get you pointed in that right direction, focusing on social communication. Ask that question. It won’t necessarily just get you a referral to a neurologist. You really want to understand the social aspect. There are experts for each of these areas.
No response to being called
Why doesn’t my child respond to their name? Yes, that is a classic red flag. But again, it’s not always autism. It could be hearing, it could be processing, or attention. Unfortunately, your pediatrician might just say, “Let’s wait and see”, and many times that’s called for… I don’t know.
What to ask instead
So, ask instead, can we get a full developmental and auditory evaluation?
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Screening for autism
Can we screen for autism? Yes. The earlier you screen for autism, the earlier you ask these questions, the earlier you get in front of different specialists, the better. So, yes, you can screen for autism. However, most pediatricians are just going to use some super basic tools that miss a lot. So you can ask for a screening. But remember, general pediatricians do not give an autism diagnosis. Why is that? Because they don’t have the proper training to give a diagnosis. And so that’s why it can get frustrating to want to ask them questions about autism, but they’re not experts in that.
What to ask instead
Can we do a more comprehensive screening, or can we get a referral to a developmental pediatrician?
Therapies
What therapies do you recommend for my child? Many times, this is after a parent has gotten a diagnosis, and you might get this vague list of speech, OT, and ABA. Yeah, you could have gotten that information on Google. But the real question is, what does your child need based on science and their symptoms?
What to ask instead
So a better question to ask would be, can we build a therapy plan based on individual assessments and not just standard referrals? That gets the conversation going, specific to your child.
Stimming
Why does my child engage in repetitive behaviors? So things like lining up toys, watching the same five seconds of video over and over again, maybe saying green truck 80 times, you’ll hear it’s just a phase. Potentially, stimming can be a coping tool. So you might hear something along those lines. But those are really basic answers, and they’re not getting you into the root issue, which is what you want, because I’m sure your child does not want to be caught in a repetitive loop either.
What to ask instead
So a better question would be, what could these behaviors be communicating, and who can help decode them? That’s where you want to get at
Losing the diagnosis
Will my child outgrow autism? Now, this one is a loaded question. You’re probably gonna get lots of different answers. But know the science. This is where knowing the science is really important. So, yes, some kids lose their diagnosis. In the literature, it’s called an optimal outcome. But it’s not about outgrowing. You outgrow pants, you outgrow shoes, you outgrow jackets, you don’t outgrow autism. So if you’re interested in learning more about how children lose their diagnosis, meaning they regain their health and they’re in school without additional supports and they don’t need therapies or anything like that, it’s possible, but you’ve got to get in front of the right people.
What to ask instead
So, a question to ask instead is What are the outcomes for children who receive early personalized intervention? That is a great question because that will tell you how knowledgeable the person is in front of you and whether or not you should take their advice. The answer, in case you’re wondering, is that the latest research showed 37% of kids with autism lose their diagnosis, meaning they no longer need any additional supports or therapies. So if that’s not the answer you hear, you’re not talking to an informed doctor. It’s plain and simple.
Parasites
How do we know if my child has parasites? Now you’re starting to get into the territory where a pediatrician is like, whoa, you know, they might raise the eyebrows. They might look at you like you’re crazy. They might kind of try and get you out of the office real quick.
What to do instead?
Seek out practitioners who are trained in integrative or functional medicine. So parasites? It’s not really a general pediatrician’s wheelhouse. Maybe pinworms. That goes around a lot in kind of kindergarten. But there’s so much more than just pinworms. So, make sure you ask that question to a knowledgeable doctor.
Folate metabolism
Can you prescribe leucovorin? Asking this might be like ordering sushi at a pizza place, right? So some pediatricians would be like, “wait, what? What’s that?” Or they might say, “That’s not FDA-approved for autism”. And they’re not wrong. But they’re also not helpful. They’re also not informed. They’re not up to date with the cutting-edge research.
What to ask instead
Can you refer us to someone familiar with folate metabolism and autism? That will get you pointed in the right direction.
Look, your pediatrician is awesome for colds and growth charts, UTIs, and ear infections. But when it comes to autism, you need a specialist, and many times more than one. And you want to ask the right questions to get the real answers. Parenting a child with autism is about asking the next-level questions. You can do it. I’m here to help you.
